From long, long ago, I found this list of alternative Police lyrics inspired by cheese food. From none other than Mr. John Arley Burns. Enjoy.
Cheese Food you don't have to sit on the shelf tonight The rationing is over, let's eat our processed cheese, alright! Cheese Food you don't have to be the pawn of the factory tonight; Walk the shelves for money, you don't have to sell your body to the bite. Cheese Food You don't have to sit on the shelf tonight Cheese Food You don't have to sit on the shelf tonight Cheese Food Sit on the shelf tonight Cheese Food Sit on the shelf tonight Cheese Food Sit on the shelf tonight Cheese Food Sit on the shelf tonight I've feared you since I bought you I wouldn't spread without you; I have to tell you how consistent you are, How you're heated to 150 degrees. I know your taste is made up, So put away that milk cup. Spread it once, spread it again, It's a bad cheese.
I've melted you so many times today, And I guess it's all true what the labels say. I see you sent my cheese food back and my proof of purchase and it was scratched. You'll be sorry when I'm spread And all this cheese will be on your head.
Just a processed food Nothing real in me-o; Another phony food in a factory-o. My artificial cream Not a man could bear-air; feel my creaminess running through your hair-o. I'll send an SOS to my tongue I'll send an SOS to my tongue I hope that someone eats my I hope that someone eats my I hope that someone eats my Cheese Food in a Bottle. A year has passed since my expiration date But I'm as good as I was from the start; Only my preservatives can keep me together; Love can mend your life, CHEESE FOOD can make you fa-aaart. I'll send an SOS to my tongue I'll send an SOS to my tongue I hope that someone eats my I hope that someone eats my I hope that someone eats my Cheese Food in a Bottle. Woke up this morning, don't believe what I saw; A hundred gallons of processed cheese Sitting on the floor. Seems my dream came true about cheese food A hundred billion tons of goo From the factory floor. I'll send an SOS to my tongue I'll send an SOS to my tongue I hope that someone eats my I hope that someone eats my I hope that someone eats my Cheese Food in a Bottle. Sending out a Food Recall (repeat and fade)
Giant carts are what you take, Walking through the store. I hope you'll pick me up, Walking through the store. I'll be here forever, Sitting on the shelf. I could keep forever, Sitting on, sitting on The shelf. Will you come and pick me up? Sitting on the shelf. Will I make your wife throw up? Sitting on the shelf. Am I made of leather? Sitting on the shelf. You could squeeze forever, Sitting on the shelf. Some may say, I'll go bad some day; No way, I'm reinforced with artificial whey. I'll stay, I'm guaranteed to stay.
New cheese food, the subject, of consumer fantasy. It wants you, so badly, Just pick up and squeeze! The other cheeses, so jealous, you know how bad cheese gets; Sometimes it's not so easy to be the spreadable cheese pet. Temptation, frustration, So bad it makes him eat. On a sandwich, the bread's waiting, His slice is warm and dry. Loose cheese in the factory, To blend they try and try; Oh no, it's not melting, Genetic engineering gone awry. Don't squeeze so close to me.
(Title only - no lyrics survived in the archive.)
(Title only - no lyrics survived in the archive.)
(Title only - no lyrics survived in the archive.)
There's a yellowish solution in our blended constitution Milk is only an illusion This is a cheesy revolution! We are cheese in a very figurative sense Our so-called natural feel Though we may appear bright yellow - Is only 51 percent real for all you know, we're made of jello. We are cheese in a very figurative sense Where does the real cheese lie? There is nothing left but nylon Why does this label lie? This is surplus army pylon. We are cheese in a very figurative sense
Every squeeze you take, Every sandwich you make; Every polymer you break, Every spread you bake, I'll be squeezing you. Can't you see... That you should squeeze me. How my poor cap aches With every squeeze you take. Every time I bait, Every fish I ate; Every time I mate, Every single crate, I'll be squeezing you.
There's a little cheese food on the shelf today It's the same old cheese as yesterday; There's a black spot over the expiration date But it'll never go bad anyway. I have stood here for years next to the beans and peas, But I've got to be strong in case someone needs me; There's a customer somewhere that I've got to please, And it's my destiny to be the King of Cheese. There's a little cheese food on the shelf today (I was cheese factory made) It's the same old cheese as yesterday; (I was cheese factory made) There's a black spot over the expiration date (I was cheese factory made) But it'll never go bad anyway. (I was cheese factory made) I have stood here for years next to the beans and peas, But I've got to be strong in case someone needs me; There's a customer somewhere that I've got to please, And it's my destiny to be the King of Cheese. I'm a four-step modern miracle (I was cheese factory made) I'm nutrified, emulsified cheese food; (I was cheese factory made) I have a shelf life of 400 years (I was cheese factory made) The worst of the supermarket's fears. (I was cheese factory made) I have stood here for years next to the beans and peas, But I've got to be strong in case someone needs me; There's a customer somewhere that I've got to please, And it's my destiny to be the King of Cheese. There's a tube on the shaft where I come out There's a form where I'm molded and punched out; There's a light to make sure that I'm cheesy There's a foul wrapper preserving my quality. There's a chance I may kill my owner (I was cheese factory made) But not before the meal is over. (I was cheese factory made) There's a little cheese food on the shelf today It's the same old cheese as yesterday; I have stood here for years next to the beans and peas, But I've got to be strong in case someone needs me; There's a customer somewhere that I've got to please, And it's my destiny to be the King of Cheese......... King of Cheese I'll always be the King of Cheese.........
I have only come here seeking food stuff. Things I thought they warned me of in health class I wish I had found something more natural That ooze will be here long from now.